Things I wish I knew at all times

1. Don't watch movies and think of things as they are in reality, it will ruin it. Especially when those movies are Transformers, Harry Potter, or any other sort of sci-fi stuff. 
2. When walking around short furniture don't cut corners. You may only have one little table and chair in the entire room but still somehow the magnet in your little toe is more powerful than your ability to walk around a piece of Ikea furniture.
3. Don't put your coffee next to the computer when playing intense computer games. You don't play them very well and you end up scaring and then pushing the cup over, spilling hot coffee onto the table that slants down towards your lap. The coffee may also somehow leek into your top drawer and spread wonderfully there hiding there until later that day when you need something and it is somehow glued to the wood and slightly soggy. And of course you don't own a towel with which to clean this whole mess up and just end up sweeping it back into the cup with your hand and using the not-very-absorbent dishtowel. Luckily the electronics and papers managed to escape... selfish bastards.
4. Don't even try to set goals for the gym. While you say "I'll sign up for free classes!" what you really mean is "I'll look at a list of free classes and then decide which one I would go to but decide not to because I'm too lazy and would rather watch a movie!"
5. Don't wash spoons in the sink with the water on full power, it will go everywhere but the sink. Magic.
6. Never live in a house with inexperienced cookers and very sensitive smoke detectors. So far there have been 4 fire alarms and a couple of close calls in two weeks because people somehow still don't understand that leaving food in an oven or on the stove for way too long will lead to fire. Also, they will happen when you are in the shower or still asleep. Because f-you, that's why. 
7. Clearly not all English is English you can understand. "Hi, where are you from?" Smile and nod during every conversation from there-on out. 
8. "I'll just browse" is never true in a secondhand bookstore. Also, I'll only buy two is a huge bloody lie.
9. Trying to give up sugary stuff on a diet will only lead to anger and frustration. It's been one day and I'm about to rip someone's head off.
10. New creations in the kitchen seem a good idea at the time but they almost always disappoint. Yum! Potatoes and cereal and salt and apples because I don't have anything else in the fridge!
11. "I'm going to read more!" uh-huh... computer games it is. "I don't have class all week, perfect to go somewhere new and read!" vs. "holy crap, it's three in the morning and I'm still in the ruined temple!"
12. There is no such thing as a good time for high heels. Especially when that time is during rain on cobblestone streets with only uphill and downhill and a lot of drinking is involved. The only thing missing is lots of drains to get stuck in with your heel- ohh... never mind  she managed to find that too. (This clearly didn't happen to me because if I wore heels in this place I would detect the rain about an hour before everyone else.)