It's days like today that I really realize just how old I've gotten. My muscles hurt (although that is from exercising for the first time again since the Second World War), my joints hurt, I'm exhausted, and my neck is in so much pain it's caused my head to pop straight out of it's giant holster. Now don't get on about how I have no right to complain about age. I do too! And you know why? I've got a theory:
My theory is that most people age in time. I think that's a reasonable assumption. There's not a specific day when you can say "Oh OK I've just gotten old." Most people over time notice little things like the graying of hair, the aching of joints, the cracking of bones. I've had my bones cracking and popping about for a long time now so that never counted for me. I'm what most would consider a giant so I've more reason to complain about things that require bending over and gravity. And most importantly, I can tell you exactly when I became old.
It was two weeks after my 23rd birthday. I was in the US and had gone to a store with a friend. That little store we now call Walmart is always bustling with people and has this drone about it that lulls you either into a coma or the psychotic need to murder people around you. I was lulled into a coma and drifted about like a zombie that was propelled forward only by the knowledge that there was no brain available in Walmart. That day marked my demise because it took just 20 minutes before I was tired, wanted to sit down somewhere because my joints hurt, and got a headache from the bright lights. After that debacle it all went down hill. From there on out I had more aches and pains and complain more. I don't understand technology anymore and care about politics and the news. I now find that I need to do something with my life before it's too late and it's all over because, apparently, that will be very soon.
So the theory that people age over time is complete bollox because I became old in one day. Science.
