OK I know what you're saying, doesn't she have anything better to do than watch stuff and moan about it on the internet? Well, yes, I do. But I don't want to do that now so I'm doing this. Leave me to it.
I just watched a movie and I absolutely have to write this because the movie was such an utter disappointment in every single way that I can't believe someone is responsible for writing the screenplay. Actually, it may have been typed up by the sheep in the film because quite possibly they were the most convincing story line of them all. The movie is called Dawn of the Dragon Slayer and don't even bother reading up on it because it's absolutely not worth your time. Let me explain what happened. The movie started with a man playing a flute and then gets barbecued by a dragon. This guy, I am convinced, has absolutely no other connection to the rest of the movie other than the dragon that is featured. OK, so it sets up that there is a dragon in this movie. But I think I could have guessed that not only from the movie title but also the poster.
Then the second short clip is a man playing with fire and there's some sort of chanting and magic. Again, this person has otherwise nothing to do with the movie other than fire is in the clip. So there are people that can control fire. Thank you, dear writers, for destroying that surprise element of the movie because now I know that the protagonist, which is surely to be a poor young white mail with a UK accent or something, or the girl who is likely a pretty girl with an authority issue, perhaps she's rich or something. So one of them has these powers and therefore will kill the dragon with them.
So now, we already know the two surprise elements of the movie, so basically the rest of the movie for a long time is just the other story line trying to catch up with the first part.
Eventually the protagonist, who is a young farmer looking for a job after his father was killed by a dragon, moves to the big life in the city, which is a castle and a hut with like five people in it, most of whom are mean. Anyway, he meets a young girl, technically she's something like a princess, or something like that, they are rich yet she is different because she does manual labour and doesn't want to marry the cocky other prince who wants her hand. It's a serious cliche. Who would have guessed that would happen in a movie about dragons and slaying and based in the past. Amazing twist there, creative.
Eventually, after a whole bunch of other stuff that really doesn't matter and hasn't impacted the story at all other than showing that the girl is rebellious and is the magician, while the young farmer is treated like crap but also isn't harmed by fire, so they're both so very special. We find out at some point that the dragon is near the castle and some stuff happens that once again has absolutely no point in being in the movie. It's amazing, maybe they had to fill the time with something, it all just leads up to the dragon attacking the castle once and not doing any harm to it while the relationship of the farmer and the girl evolves rapidly when he sees her naked and then nothing else happens. Additionally, the cocky prince attacks the young farmer and they battle to the death for about 15 seconds before the rich guy is killed. And the girl is accused of witchcraft but then that's totally forgiven when they forget because the next scene starts and the other people are no longer relevant.
The last few scenes could have saved the movie. Please notice here, it could have been but rather ti decided to fail absolutely and disappoint me completely. It ruined possibly the entire movie genre of dragon slaying for me. The final battle scene, so dramatic and epic, we've been waiting for it for so long. The dragon versus the young farmer. They face off, well, they only actually face each other for like 5 seconds. Then the dragon fires fire at the farmer, but the farmer is invincible! He has a special sword! He ca slay him! Suddenly the screen goes black and the entire fight scene is ruined by the incompetence of what I suspect the entirety of the crew other than the sheep. I can't believe they would even consider... how... how could tey cut the fight scene... how.........
Next scene, the dragon's dead and the young farmer, perfectly fine, is laying on the ground. He lay at a different place from where they fought so I can only assume the fight was amazing and dramatic, but I guess we'll never know because they are all horrible people.
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