Welcome home!

This thing was sitting on the outside door frame of my front door. Right by the key hole. As my roommate came home, gusty, she unlocked the door and told me to "come here right now". I rushed over to have a mini heart attack as i saw the fat little spider sitting there chilling. after taking an evidence photo we decided it couldn't stay there because you know there things are nifty and will probably crawl into one of our ears or mouths. 

So, my brave roomie took her flip flop and smacked it away, as gently as this ugly spider allowed. But to our horror it was attached to our frame about a foot up by one of it's silk strings and just came swinging right back. I screamed, died a little internally, and then backed off. She smacked it again and finally it broke away from the door. The thing didn't die, no worries. But I don't know what happened after that either. I just kind of blacked out a little, blocking out the memory...