Evolving

Some days where you can do nothing but over analyse your last conversation, repeat the scene of your favourite show, or think about what you want to eat next are a blessing in disguise. While it is a blessing disguised under layers of boredom, lazyness, and more boredom it is, after all, a blessing.
I don't know what you do when confronted with such days, but what I do is try to better understand the human being. At times I study communication styles and the differences from country to country. Sometimes I look at facial expressions and learn how to better identify lies. Other times I focus more inwardly and try to better understand myself.

When trying to understand yourself I have come to learn that identifying those aspects of your mind and character that are absent tell you more about who you are than those that you choose to present to the world around you. For instance, if you are an extroverted person, generally happy to speak to lots of others, that is commendable and all, but what about your physical reaction to speaking to strangers? What about the forwardness or character you show them? Do you exude confidence or show a more silent side to those around you?
Applicable to many different fields, it seems that negative space and absence of something can share an equal amount of information as the presence of something. In my case, I always thought I held grudges. I thought I would not be able to forgive people for little faults, thought I wouldn't forget their mistakes and hold it against them even when I didn't want to. But after thought and racking through my memories I learned today that unless you faulted me greatly I don't hold grudges. That made me think, why is the ability to hold grudges absent in my character? How is it that I, even though for the longest time I was convinced I could, could not feel angry at people for their human mistakes?

But that's exactly why. Because their mistakes are human. Why should I hold a grudge against someone that made a mistake. They didn't intend to hurt me, they didn't intend for their actions to have long term consequences. Now, don't start arguing with me about how certain murderers or criminals didn't intend for their actions to have consequences etc. That's not the same topic of discussion. What I am talking about here are the mistakes that are still legal. Say, for example, someone phrasing a sentence in an unintentionally hurtful way and attempting to explain that this is not what they meant. Let them explain.
Stupid spontaneous things that in the end harm friendships and destroy relationships, I find it easy to forgive them. I find it easy to forgive the mistakes of one friend to another even if it sets our communication back a level. But nonetheless, I do not seek to terminate the friendship.

The only person you are hurting and punishing by holding a grudge is yourself. I don't worry about the grudges others may hold against me unless I seriously deserve it, so why should they worry about the grudges I hold against them. So, I forgive and remember that we're all moving forward, evolving, changing. And it's all for a reason.